Love Is

March 30, 2019 Joel Berry

I wrote this post eight years ago, when Cheri and I were mentoring a group of newly married couples. Although the apostle Paul’s discussion of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is easily applied within the context of marriage, he was actually addressing love from the broader context of the church. When Christians walk by the Spirit, love is the motivation for all that we do. It is the greatest of all of the gifts of the Spirit. Jesus commanded his disciples, “... just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (Jn 13:34b). Paul helps us understand what love is.

LOVE IS

It has been a real joy the past couple of months to get to know the young couples in our small group. It’s exciting to listen to them share their experiences as they relate to the topics that we discuss. It’s also inspiring to know that they are committed to each other, and they want to grow together in their marriage relationships. One of our discussion questions last night caught my attention. In order to answer it, I had to think back to about 30 years ago when I first met Cheri. The question was “How have your ideas about love changed as you’ve gone from dating to engagement to marriage?”

After our first date, I was smitten. There was just something about Cheri that made me stop in my tracks and say “Wow!” She was drop-dead gorgeous, extremely smart, and she seemed to like me. I spent every moment with her that I could because I wanted to get to know her. But looking back at that phase of our relationship, I realize I was more interested in receiving her admiration and attention that in learning how to love her.

After three years of dating, I proposed to her on her 21st birthday. I had playfully asked her if she would marry me a number of times, just to see what she would say. She would hold our her hand, smile at me, and say, “Where’s the ring?” That was always assuring, because she never said “no”. She always left the door open for when we were ready to make a lifetime commitment to each other. When I did officially propose, she asked, “Where’s the ring?” and held out her hand, just as she always did. This time, I slipped the ring onto her finger, and she said yes!

A Royal Wedding

May 19, 2018 Joel Berry

Cheri turned on the TV at 5:30 this morning, excited for the opportunity to watch the events leading up to the royal wedding between Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I could have put on my grumpy act, but I knew that for her, it was similar to my turning on the TV early in the morning to watch the British Open. Besides, I didn’t really mind. Royal weddings don’t happen every day, and this one was intriguing.

Meghan, a successful American actress, but a commoner in the eyes of British royalty, willingly surrendered her acting career, her own clothing line, and a successful lifestyle blog so she could marry her royal prince. Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, is the son of Prince Charles and Princess Diana. He is a former military officer who served as a helicopter pilot for a time in Afghanistan, and is sixth in the line of succession to the British throne. Their marriage goes against the grain of British royalty, and their relationship was met with resistance and criticism by the British press. But, given the huge crowd that gathered around Windsor Castle this morining, all seems to be well with the Brits. The wedding ceremony went without a hitch, and Meghan, now Duchess of Sussex, was a beautifull bride, demonstrating great poise throughout the ceremony.

Today, I was reminded of another royal wedding that will take place at some future time; that of Jesus Christ, the King, and of his bride, the church. Jesus is the supreme King, and he will marry his bride, whom he has adopted as his own. We, the church, are of common descent, born of Adam, born in sin. But by his grace, we have been made righteous, and by his Spirit, we are being sanctified so that when that day comes, he will present his bride, the church “to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph 5:23).

Until that day, it is our duty and our privilege to participate with him as he sanctifies us. We participate by forsaking the sin that besets us and walking according to the Spirit. We are called to be holy in all of our conduct, striving for peace with everyone (I Pet 1:15; Heb 12;14). The day of our royal wedding will be a beautiful day, a day of rejoicing that will never cease. Every royal wedding before that day will pale in comparison. What a glorious day that will be!

If We Confess Our Sins

January 13, 2018 Joel Berry

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9

1 John is a letter that was written to a group of Christians who were struggling with their original faith in Jesus as the Messiah. They had been influenced by the prevailing Gnosticism of the Greek culture to believe that physical matter is evil, and only the spirit is good. They concluded, therefore, that God had not come to earth as Messiah in a human body. Instead, they believed that their salvation was rooted in a special spiritual insight they had received. They reasoned that since anything they did in their bodies had no spiritual significance, they could indulge in acts that they had been taught were sinful, without spiritual consequence. The author of this letter, believed to be John, wrote to these believers to reassure them that what they had originally been taught about Jesus was true. As an eyewitness to the resurrected Jesus, he testified that Jesus truly is the Son of God. He is the light of the world, and in him there is no darkness at all.

If you have confessed Jesus Christ as Lord, and believed in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you have the Spirit of Christ living within you (Rom 10:9-10; Gal 2:20). You have received forgiveness of all your sin and are counted as righteous by God (Col 2:13-14). You have been adopted into his family (Rom 8:15-16). Do you wonder, then, why John says you must continue to confess your sin to receive forgiveness and cleansing from unrighteousness?

Adopted by God

November 12, 2017 Joel Berry

Some time ago I read a book titled Infinitely More, which is the story of Alex Krutov, an orphan who grew up in the Russian orphanage system. Alex tells the story of moving from orphanage to orphanage, never feeling as though he belonged to anyone. The orphanages did not have names. They were simply identified by number. Once each year he was issued a standard set of clothing. He ate his meals in the dining halls and he slept in dormitory style rooms. His caretakers were responsible enough to keep the children in order, but because there were so many orphans, they did not become emotionally attached to the children. Alex’s circumstances were better than living on the street, but he did not have a meaningful relationship with his caregivers.

Some Christians view their relationship with God as one of an orphan who has not been adopted. They know they have been rescued from the penalty of sin through the justification they received when they came to faith in Christ. But beyond justification, they have not experienced an intimate, loving relationship with God. They will try to conform to Christian standards of conduct by attending church, praying before meals and even becoming involved in Christian service. But there is always a fear of rejection if they don’t live up to what they perceive to be God's standards. They feel as though God is watching their every move, waiting for them to step out of line so He can swat them back into their place. They view every negative event or circumstance in their life as God’s punishment for not meeting His standard of conduct. It’s no wonder that many walk away, feeling as though God has abandoned them. They have never realized the fatherly love that God has for them.

John 1:12 tells us that to all who believe in the name of Jesus, He has given the right to become children of God. We are not merely justified (although, this is a significant act of God’s grace!). He has not brought us into an orphanage where we simply become one in a crowd of orphans. We are much more than that ... we are adopted! He has adopted us as His children, and we have the privilege of calling Him our Father. He invites us to draw near to Him and to approach Him "with freedom and confidence” (Eph 3:12). The love that God has for His children is greater even than the love that we have for our own children.

J.I. Packer, in his book, Knowing God, states, “To those who are Christ’s, the holy God is a loving Father; they belong to his family; they may approach him without fear and always be sure of his fatherly concern and care. This is the heart of the New Testament message.”

Take hold of that message and grow in a love relationship with your Father. If you belong to Christ, you have been adopted by God. You are His child!

Not My Will

October 27, 2017 Joel Berry

Several years ago I heard a message by Andy Stanley on how Jesus taught his disciples to pray. What Jesus instructed is what we know as The Lord’s Prayer, found in Matthew 6:9-13. After listening to Andy break down this prayer, in the way he does so well, I became aware of the difference between the way I have prayed and the way Jesus taught his disciples to pray. My prayers often consist of my asking God to do my will, not His.

It is easy to mindlessly follow along with a congregation reciting the Lord’s Prayer and just blow through the phrase “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” But this one sentence takes us to the very core of what our relationship with God should be: “Your will be done.”

For us to say to God, “Your will be done,” we must first be willing to say, “Not my will, but yours.” This means that we must be willing to surrender our own desires, our own dreams, our own needs, and desire that God’s will be done. We must be willing to see the things of this world as temporary, and the needs of others as more important than our own. We especially must be willing to acknowledge that when God calls something we desire sin, it is sin, no matter how we may rationalize it.

It's Not About "The Marriage"

October 9, 2017 Joel Berry

As I listened to Andy Stanley introduce a new series yesterday, I was reminded of this post that I wrote nearly five years ago. You can view Andy's new series by clicking here: "What Happy Couples Know". I recommend it for anyone who is married, engaged, or hopes to be married.

This summer, Cheri and I will celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary. Like many husbands, I don’t remember many of the details from the wedding. I remember that Cheri was a beautiful bride and all that mattered to me was that we were getting married. Still, it’s hard to believe that nearly twenty-nine years have passed since our wedding day.

We’ve been through a lot together. We were married right out of college and for the first six months we barely made enough money to get by. Our first residence was a 2 bedroom, 2 bath concrete block stucco house in south Florida. We each brought our bedroom furniture from our parents’ homes and we had a small kitchen table. Our living room was furnished with two folding lawn chairs, a bookcase and a 13” black and white TV. I can remember when we had to carefully consider spending $10 to buy a charcoal grill. We felt like real adults after that purchase!

Together we’ve bought and sold houses and cars, relocated several times, and made significant career decisions. We’ve reared two sons into their adulthood and are very proud of both of them. We’ve experienced financial struggles as well as abundance. We’ve had our disagreements at times but we managed to resolve them together.

Don't Cast Stones at Your Brother

July 22, 2017 Joel Berry

"Do not judge" is a prevailing mantra in our society whenever someone is confronted with the truth regarding their sinful behavior. The mantra is repeated by many within the church, as well as many that want no part of Christianity. It is frequently based on Bible verses taken out of context and used as ammunition to endorse a "live and let live" mentality. Two of the more popular verses are Matthew 7:1, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged," and John 8:7, which quotes Jesus saying, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her" (speaking of a woman caught in adultery). The mantra effectively serves as a slam-dunk against anyone who renounces sin; that is, until the one caught in sin is a high-profile professing Christian. At that point, it is perfectly acceptable, even celebrated in the eyes of many, to pass judgement on their hypocrisy.

I can understand such paradoxical reasoning from those who do not buy in to the truth of Christianity. The gospel of Jesus Christ is offensive to those who reject him because it confronts their sin as the principle that condemns them. The gospel says that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and we can only escape condemnation through faith in the resurrected Jesus Christ as Lord. This means that we turn from our sin and look to Jesus for salvation. The Bible teaches that those who have done so have been made new. We have been enabled by the Holy Spirit to pursue the things that please God. In the eyes of those who have rejected this gospel, the moral failure of a Christian validates their rejection of Christ. While I reject such a premise, I get it.

But Christians should never rejoice in or make fun of the moral failure of a Christian brother or sister. The most recent high-profile moral failure is that of Hugh Freeze, the head football coach at Ole Miss who resigned yesterday amidst accusations of immoral behavior. He was a successful high school coach at a large Christian school, and made the jump to a high profile SEC program. He is married and has three daughters, whom I'm sure have been devastated by the exposure of his behavior. He has actively proclaimed his faith in Christ and has made a positive impact on the lives of many young men who now feel the pain of his hypocrisy. He is experiencing the shame and embarrassment of letting down those who loved and respected him, and of his failure to live out the faith he has so publicly professed. In such a time as this, we who are his brothers and sisters should come alongside him and pray for him. The last thing we should do is join in the chorus that mocks him on social media sites. This is not a laughing matter, and college football rivalries are irrelevant in this circumstance. The apostle John says that those who belong to Christ will love others who belong to Christ. We show love by building each other up, not by tearing one another down.

A Christian's moral failure is tragic evidence that we who belong to Christ are still susceptible to the influence of sin that dwells within us. When we choose to allow sin to fester in our heart and mind, and refuse to confess it and repent of it, God will expose it. He does this to bring us to repentance so we can return to walking in the light of his love. We should all take this opportunity to examine our own hearts and repent of the sin we have refused to confess. We should pray for Hugh Freeze and his family, that they will experience God's grace during this time, and bask in his love and forgiveness. They are in a world of hurt right now. Don't become a part of that world.

Are You a Follower of Jesus?

June 24, 2017 Joel Berry

Are you a follower of Jesus? If your answer is yes, what does that mean?

If often disturbs me when I hear a message that calls for those who have not yet entered into a personal relationship with Jesus to just follow him. I am concerned that there are many followers of Jesus who possess a false sense of security in being a follower when they do not possess the faith in Jesus Christ that brings salvation. Let me explain.

When Jesus began his ministry on earth, he callled his disciples to follow him and become "fishers of men" (Matt 4:18-20). One of the twelve followers was a man named Judas Iscariot. Judas followed Jesus for the entirety of his ministry, witnessing the miracles he performed, the way he treated the poor and needy with kindness, and heard Jesus teach the multitudes about the kingdom of God. Although Jesus confirmed Peter's declaration, in the presence of all the disciples, that he was the Messiah, the Son of the Living God, Scripture never records Judas acknowledging Jesus as Lord, as did the rest of the disciples. He only called Jesus "Rabbi", acknowledging him as a great teacher. While the other disciples professed faith in Jesus as the Son of God, Judas remained silent. At the time of Jesus, many of the nation of Israel anticipated the coming of the Messiah, whom they believed would overthrow the Roman Empire and would rule over them. Judas expected to be among the ruling elite because of his association with Jesus. But when it became apparent that Jesus would not be the one to overthrow the Romans, Judas seized the opportunity for financial gain by betraying him, delivering him into the hands of the Pharisees who wanted to kill him. After his betrayal, he tragically took his own life, never acknowledging Jesus as Lord. Judas Iscariot was a follower of Jesus. But he was a follower who did not have in Jesus as Lord and Savior.

Shall We Continue in Sin?

March 5, 2017 Joel Berry

If salvation is by God's grace, not by works, there is nothing you can do to earn God's forgiveness of sin. And since Scripture teaches that once you have trusted in Christ, he will never leave you, what motivation is there to not continue to sin?

This is a common question from many who are hearing the gospel message for the first time. It's also the rationale that is used by Christians who decide to return to sinful habits and practices. After all, life is short and there is pleasure in sin. Doesn't God want us to be happy?

Four Reasons to Abandon Sin

1. Jesus shed his blood to atone for your sin.

Sin leads to death … always. Romans 5:12 says, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” The wages of sin is death, and sin is the reason that Jesus died for you. His blood paid the penalty of death for your sin. Think about that — anytime you sin, the blood of Jesus is applied as payment for your sin. Would you choose to trample on such a great sacrifice?

Jesus Said "Bring Them to Me"

February 16, 2017 Joel Berry

You've probably said these words, in some form, to your kids when they needed something to be fixed, or to an employee or coworker when they needed assistance with a project. It's a command that exhibits confidence, strength, or assurance. "Do you need help with that? Bring it here to me."

**"Bring them here to me." - Matthew 14:18**

The story of Jesus feeding the multitude of five thousand is a familiar one. After Jesus heard the news of the execution of John the Baptist, he withdrew in a boat to a desolate place to be alone. But the crowds followed him on foot, and when he went ashore, he saw a great crowd. Having compassion on them, he began healing the sick. As evening approached, the disciples urged him to tell everyone to go away into the village to buy food. I’m sure they were confused when he told them they didn’t need to buy food. He told the disciples to feed them, but the only food they had were five loaves and two fish. They knew it was impossible to feed all those people with what they had.

Then Jesus said to them, “Bring them here to me.” It was an authoritative command, full of assurance, and they gave the loaves and the two fish to Jesus. He ordered the crowd to sit down and he looked to heaven and blessed it. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples. After everyone had eaten their fill, there were 12 baskets of food left over.

It is easy to focus our attention only on the miracle in this story. Only Jesus could do what he did! But when I read the story, I see something more about Jesus. The disciples were faced with an impossible task of feeding the large multitude of people. Yes, Jesus had directed them to do it, but there was no way they could do that on their own. But when Jesus said, “Bring them to me,” the disciples surrendered the food to him, and he miraculously multiplied it as they handed it out to the crowd.

When you are faced with an impossible situation, Jesus says, “Bring it to me.” He knows your limitations and he is willing to give you what you need to deal with any situation. Surrender your need to him and trust him to see you through.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30